Visualising the Life You Want (And Why Marie Kondo Was Right All Along)

When I first read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, one part gently floated past me. Marie Kondo asks you to visualise the life you want to live.

At the time, I’ll be honest - I didn’t really understand the importance of it. I understood the system and steps she outlines when decluttering. I understood the categories. I understood sparking joy.

But visualising my future life? That felt vague. Something I saw as a nice idea, but show me the evidence.

And then, years later, I have come back to it - with very different eyes.

From “Woo Woo” as Dr Doty said, to Neuroscience

I’m very much a science-based person. I want to know why something works, not just that it does.

Recently, I read Mind Magic by Dr James Doty - a neurosurgeon and neuroscientist. If you’re sceptical of manifestation, this is the book that allowed me to understand that it is actually a way to use your brain to create the life you want.

Dr Doty explains that manifestation isn’t about magical thinking or the universe delivering things if you wish hard enough. It’s about how the brain works.

When you repeatedly and vividly visualise something:

• You activate neural networks linked to attention, motivation and behaviour

• You embed your goals into the subconscious, influencing decisions you then make each day without you having to even try!

That’s when Marie Kondo’s advice clicked for me.

Why Visualisation Matters in Your Home

When people want help decluttering, they usually start with the stuff.

The overflowing drawers.
The cupboards (or doors!) they avoid opening.

What they don’t start with is the life they want live. How they want to feel and act in their home long after I have visited. And that’s the missing piece. Your home isn’t just a container for belongings - it’s an environment that shapes your behaviour, energy and nervous system every single day.

If you don’t have a clear picture of how you want to live in that space, decluttering becomes random or short-lived:

• You tidy, but it doesn’t last

• You get rid of things, then buy similar replacements

Visualisation gives your brain a filter.

It answers questions like:

• “Does this support the way I want my mornings to feel?”

• “Does this belong in the life I’m seeking to build?”

Without that vision, every object has equal weight and decisions seem hard. But with it, decisions become surprisingly easy.

Decluttering Is Behaviour Change (Not a Storage Problem)

This is where Marie Kondo and neuroscience fully overlap.

When you visualise:

• how you want to move through your home

• how you want to feel when you walk into a room

• what you want to spend your time doing

…your brain starts making different choices automatically. 

You don’t have to “be disciplined”. You don’t have to constantly re-decide.

That’s why decluttering done properly feels emotional and sometimes even uncomfortable. You’re not just editing objects. You’re updating yourself.

A Simple Way to Start (No Vision Boards Required)

If visualising your “future life” still feels big or vague, try this instead:

Before you declutter a space, ask just three questions:

1. What do I want this room to help me do more easily?
(Rest, connect, work, play, get out the door faster…)

2. How do I want to feel when I’m in here?
(Calm, capable, energised - be specific.)

3. What does a normal day look like from inside this room?
Not best-self. Real life, real rhythms.

Then declutter from that place.

You’ll notice decisions feel easier, clearer and you'll feel less guilt. Not because you’re forcing yourself - but because your brain finally knows what it’s working towards.

Marie Kondo Was Right

Visualising the life you want isn’t about pretending everything is perfect. It’s about giving your brain a clear focus to work towards.

Marie Kondo understood something deeply human:

We can’t let go of what no longer fits, if we haven’t defined what does.

So if decluttering has felt hard, stuck, or endless - it might not be a motivation issue. It might simply be that no one ever asked you to picture where you’re going first. And once you do?

Your home starts to change in ways that feel… almost effortless.

Not magic. Manifestation.

Rachel Mason, a Behavioural Psychologist and founder of Mom of Mayhem. I help families create homes that feel calmer, functional, and genuinely supportive of their lifestyles - whether you’re downsizing, welcoming a new baby or just want less chaos at home. I am here to help.